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| A triumphant tribute to Man's Best friend |
| By Bill Mitzel | 04/30/07 |
| If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went. - Will Rogers. |
Everybody knows a dog is man’s best friend. But most of us probably don’t know how good a friend that hound really is to us. Hunters have a special connection with their pooches, something entirely separate from the little white poodle that’s decorated with ribbons and bows and perfume, and has a bed better than 98 percent of the world’s human population.
No, these hunters and their dogs have a special bond, a lot of which is spiritual. Things go unsaid, yet they both know each other well, and in the field, they’re a team. It’s probably safe to say we’ve all seen grown men cry over the loss of a dog, especially if that dog was a hunting companion.
To the hunter, the dog is more than just important. It’s a vital link to the success of the day, which doesn’t necessarily mean filling a bird limit. It means a good day of walking, enjoying the prairie as a team, working together, having fun. And when it’s over, both the hunter and the puppy dog sleep well, maybe even well enough to call it borderline coma.
How can you help but love ‘em? Who among your list of friends and relatives is so eager to please you... so friendly to you... so happy to see you... and asks so little. In fact, asks nothing in return. Try to imagine, if you can, our lives without dogs.
There are things dogs know that we, as mortal humans, cannot. The doggie dictionary for instance:
Leash -- A strap which attaches to your collar, enabling you to lead your person where you want him/her to go.
Drool -- What you do when your persons have food and you don’t. To do this properly, you must sit as close as you can and look sad and let the drool fall to the floor, or better yet, on their laps.
Garbage Can -- A container which your neighbors put out once a week to test your ingenuity. You must stand on your hind legs and try to push the lid off with your nose. If you do it right, you’re rewarded with margarine wrappers to shred, beef bones to consume and moldy crusts of bread. All good stuff.
Thunder -- This is a signal that world’s coming to an end. Humans remain amazingly calm during thunderstorms, so it’s necessary to warn them of the danger by trembling uncontrollably, panting, rolling your eyes wildly and following at their heels.
Dog Bed -- Any soft, clean surface, like the white bedspread in the guest room or the new couch in the living room.
They’re Not So Dumb
Dogs are smart in their own way, of course. They know things their masters either don’t realize, or don’t give them credit for. Among the things they try to remember:
• Dad doesn’t like it when I play tug-of-war with his underwear when he’s on the toilet.
• I will not lick my human’s face after eating animal poop.
• I must shake the rainwater out of my fur BEFORE climbing into the cab of the pickup.
• “Kitty box crunchies” are not food.
• The diaper pail is not a cookie jar.
• I will not insist on having the car window rolled down when it’s raining outside.
• We do not have a doorbell. I will not bark each time I hear one on TV.
Dog Philosophy
Everyone knows the joy, value and importance of dogs in our lives. In turn, we have a responsibility to them, of course, and to ourselves in conjunction with them. The happiness they give us, regardless of our status in life, no matter how fancy our home, our car, our career, doesn’t matter to them. And everyone knows that. And perhaps that, more than anything, makes them so special. And heck, dogs have a sense of humor, too... in their own way.
Herewith some unique observations of well-known folks about their own association with puppy dogs:
The reason a dog has so many friends is that he wags his tail instead of his tongue.
-- Anonymous
Don’t accept your dog’s admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful.
-- Ann Landers
If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went.
-- Will Rogers
There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face.
-- Ben Williams
A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself.
-- Josh Billings
The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.
-- Andy Rooney
We give dogs time we can spare, space we can spare and love we can spare. And in return, dogs give us their all. It’s the best deal man has ever made.
-- M. Acklam.
Dogs love their friends and bite their enemies, quite unlike people, who are incapable of pure love and always have to mix love and hate.
-- Sigmund Freud
I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird, religious cult.
-- Rita Rudner
A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance and to turn around three times before lying down.
-- Robert Benchley
Anybody who doesn’t know what soap tastes like never washed a dog.
-- Franklin P. Jones
If I have any beliefs about immortality, it’s that certain dogs I have known will go to Heaven, and very, very few persons.
-- James Thurber
If your dog is fat, you aren’t getting enough exercise.
-- Unknown
My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to $3 a can. That’s almost $21 in dog money.
-- Joe Weinstein
Ever consider what our dogs must think of us? I mean, here we come back from a grocery store with the most amazing haul -- chicken, pork, half a cow. They must think we’re the greatest hunters on earth!
-- Anne Tyler
Women and cats will do as they please, and man and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.
-- Robert A. Heinlein
If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; that is that principal difference between a dog and a man.
-- Mark Twain
You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you a look that says, “Wow, you’re right! I never would’ve thought of that!’
-- Dave Barry
Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole.
-- Roger Caras
If you think dogs can’t count, try putting three dog biscuits in your pocket and then give him only two of them.
-- Phil Pastoret • |
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